everything has changed
by yeahsurekthxbai
Summary: Ana had never believed in fairytales or magic. Until one day, quite by accident, she finds herself in Middle-Eafth in an adventure she has absolutely no intention of participating in. She thought it would be her worst nightmare come true. And she was right - but not quite in the way she expected. How do you pick up the pieces of an old life, when everything has changed?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello!**

**Yes, hi, another OC fanfic haha. Please don't hate me for creating a new one when I still have like four stories to consistently update! **

**But I just _had_ to get this down. So, hope you enjoy it somewhat. Reviews would be fantastic! (just saying. motivation, you know. it helps a lot. and with my other stories too *hinthint*)**

* * *

She hated remembering.

She hated remembering the smiles and the laughter, the arguments and the shouts, the fighting and the running and the cheers of triumph.

She hated remembering how _happy_ she'd been.

She hated remembering how at home she'd felt.

She hated remembering how she'd gone from being one of the most sceptical, cynical, realistic persons she'd ever come across, to one who had faith in magic and dragons and mystical lands.

It was painful.

It tugged at her, tugged at her mind.

It made her heart hurt, hurt so badly sometimes she'd have to wrap her arms around herself and remind herself to breathe.

She wished, sometimes, that the whole thing had never happened. The whole adventure, or whatever you wanted to call it. It hurt too much to remember and to know that she had no chance of ever going back.

But there were so many things that she'd learned, that she'd discovered, that she wasn't quite sure if she really did wish it had never happened.

She never really knew what was reality or what was a dream anymore.

Her family didn't care – her sister was much too absorbed in winning her stupid, ridiculous medals, and her parents in work – but she knew her friends had realised that something was very, very wrong with her.

She wanted to tell them that she was fine. That it wasn't anything they'd done.

That it was her, all her fault, for not being able to cope with this.

But then she would remember even more, and her heart would hurt even more, and she couldn't bring herself to speak to them.

She hated remembering.

* * *

"What's happened to you, Ana?"

Ana looked up at the dark-haired boy sitting at the table across her, and lowered her gaze back to the book in front of her. "Nothing. Go away, Kevin."

"Not until you tell me what's wrong."

"I said go _away_."

"Don't shut me out, Ana. You've not been the same for nearly five months."

"What do you mean, not been the same?"

"You know what I mean." Kevin tugged at the book in front of her, pulling it across and making her look up at him, ignoring her indignant yelp. "You don't talk to us, you don't eat, you don't smile, everything you do, it's as if you wish you were someplace else, all the time."

"That's my business."

Ana was still eyeing the book, trying to get it back, but Kevin held onto it firmly.

"We're your friends, Ana. It _is _our business."

He looked at her, a long, hard look; and then, horrified, he realised that her eyes were welling up with tears, that she was squeezing her dark brown eyes shut and turning her head away, that long droplets of water were trailing down her cheeks.

"Ana?" he asked, hesitantly.

She took a deep breath, tilted her head back, and Kevin remembered how she hated being thought weak, how she hated being able to cry so easily. She never liked using tissue, he remembered – she let the tears fall down her cheeks and let them dry.

He tried not to think about why he remembered details like that.

"I'm fine," she said, finally, blinking her eyes open to look at him through her glasses – cheap, black-framed glasses, those nerdy spectacles that everyone seemed to be getting. "I'm fine."

_No, you're not_, Kevin wanted to say, but he had a feeling that he wouldn't like her response.

Instead, he glanced down at the book.

"Are you reading up on – on dwarves?"

He looked up at her, eyes wide; and then realised that the tears were threatening to spill again. He cleared his throat, gruffly, and slid the book back along the table to her.

"I found it in the reference section," she said finally, swallowing. "Didn't know – didn't know our school library would have a book on mythical creatures."

"Our school's full of surprises."

"You have no idea."

He looked up at her, sharply; it was as if her words held a hidden meaning, a greater depth. But her head was lowered again, bent over the book.

"Have you – have you written, recently?" Kevin asked, quietly. "I know you always write when you're upset, and you've seemed so upset these few months, but I've been checking up on your blog and you've hardly written anything – "

"I haven't updated it." She bit her lip, as if wondering whether to say something, and then rushed on, "Things have been – have been too personal to put online."

He knew what she meant. She always carried a book around – a faded, worn-out exercise book, used for scribbling and whatnot, but recently she'd been carrying a thicker notebook; its pages full and full of words.

He thought it'd been for her school notes.

He supposed not.

"Can I – can I see?" he asked, hesitantly.

Ana glanced across the table at him, for a long moment.

And then she nodded, slowly, took a spiral bound notebook out of her bag, and slid it across the table towards him.

"What's it about?" he asked, before opening it.

Ana paused, stared hard at the notebook.

"A girl," she said, quietly. "A girl, who went on an adventure she didn't want to go on, who discovered things about herself she never knew before, whose life was completely changed – and who was forced to come back and pretend nothing happened."

"It's not a happy story," Kevin guessed.

Ana shrugged.

"It's a bit of everything," she said. "Wait – wait for me to go before you start reading, please?"

Kevin nodded.

* * *

She went back to where it had begun.

The stairwell by the block of disused classrooms, the stairwell that nobody ever used.

It was here that she'd sometimes come on afternoons when she'd wanted to be alone. It was _her _place, hers and hers alone.

She climbed up to the fourth floor, glanced out over at the school; the trees swaying in the wind, the laughter of students in the air, and in the main building, the windows of the library, where she knew Kevin was sitting, flipping through the spiral notebook.

She wondered if it had been a good idea to pass him the notebook.

Too late for any regrets now.

She turned away and looked at the corner of the stairwell – the corner that had once held the old dressing table that the drama kids had once used, years ago. The old dressing table with its rickety drawers full of cobwebs and the shining mirror that had been layered with dust before Ana had finally cleaned it up.

The corner that was now empty.

The old dressing table that was no longer there.

Ana sank to the ground, buried her face in her hands.

"I miss you," she said, and as she spoke, her voice muffled, the tears began running down her cheeks again – thick and fast and heavy, tears she couldn't control. "I miss you so much."

She took a deep breath, swallowed.

"I miss you so much, Fili."


	2. Chapter 2

_There are so many things that I miss._

_Sometimes, I wonder if it was all just a dream. If I'd just imagined it all in my head. But then I find your gift, I find little treasures and things that remind me, that tell me that it really did happen. And then I know that it wasn't just a dream._

_Sometimes, I wonder what it is I really miss the most._

_And then I know, of course I know, I know what it is I miss the most, without a doubt._

_I miss everyone. I miss the place. I miss the adventure. I miss everything._

_But I miss you most of all._

_Stupid, isn't it? I've been on what's probably the craziest adventure in the history of all mankind, and I discover the existence of dwarfs, hobbits, elves, wizards and goblins and orcs and dragons, and I discover a whole new world, and I discover and learn so much, so many amazing and magical things –_

_And in the end, it really all comes back to you. _

_In a way, I hate it. I hate how even when time passes, when so many other amazing things have happened, that it all ultimately comes back to you._

_But, I don't know. I'd like to change it. I've always been told that I'm too emotional. _

_I don't want it to be __**all**__ about you. I want it to be about everything I've been through, the adventure, the company, everything. But maybe sometimes you can't really control what you feel._

_I don't know what to think._

_Maybe it's time to start this tale proper._

_I can't account for the accuracy. In fact, what I've written, it really is a tale, a story, more than anything – it's not an account, though I initially wanted it to be one. Maybe I needed that, needed to transform everything that happened into something that I can look through and revisit as if new. _

_It starts as every good story does, of course._

_It starts with once upon a time. _

Kevin sat with the book before him, brows furrowed.

And then he took a deep breath, and flipped the page.

* * *

Ana sat at the top of the stairwell, hugging her legs, her head leaning on the wall next to her, her eyes fixed on the corner where the old dressing table had been.

And then she closed her eyes, shut them tightly, and she remembered.

* * *

"Anyone you're going to miss?"

Fili glanced up at his brother, sharply, the flickering fire between them. "What are you talking about?"

Kili grinned at him. "It's a real _adventure_ this time, Fee! We'll be gone for ages. Isn't there anyone that you'll miss in particular?"

Fili rolled his eyes. "_That's_ your question?"

"It's a valid one," protested Kili. "There is, isn't there?"

Fili chuckled, settled himself more comfortably on the ground. They were in a sheltered corner of the woods with night falling about them, the light fading as the sun slowly disappeared. It had been days since they left the Blue Mountains for the Shire, and even though Fili couldn't wait to reach the Shire and finally start on their adventure, he'd miss these seemingly-endless days in the woods travelling with his brother. "I know _you_ do."

"Don't change the subject," Kili said. "You'll miss Freya, won't you?"

Fili thought of the quiet, golden-haired dwarf, the daughter of one of his mother's friends, and winced slightly. "She's good-looking, I'll admit, and she's nice enough, but I'm not going to miss her particularly. You already miss Lynren, don't you?"

Kili laughed. "Lynren's nice, but not my type."

Fili raised his eyebrows. "What is your type, then?"

"Don't know, to be honest," Kili admitted. "No one back home, though." He looked at his brother curiously. "Why don't _you_ have anyone? There are enough of the girls at home swooning over you. You could practically have your pick."

Fili shrugged, shook his head.

"What are you waiting for?" Kili persisted.

Fili grinned at him, flopped back down on the grass and stared out at the canopy of leaves above him.

"The right girl."

* * *

Ana hated Mondays.

She supposed that was nothing new. Mondays were hated in general.

But she _really_ hated this particular Monday.

She supposed it had something to do with the pouring rain, and the fact that she'd only gotten about two hours of sleep the night before.

Thank goodness for long breaks.

She sat curled up at the top of the stairwell – her stairwell, her secret hiding place. She supposed Lela and Cam and Sarah were wondering where she was, but somehow she couldn't care enough to take out her phone and drop them a text.

She sighed, leaned her head against the wall behind her, glanced up briefly before looking back down.

And then glanced up again, sharply.

She'd never really taken note of the dressing table before, apart from the single time she'd cleaned it up.

But she was quite sure that mirrors didn't start cracking for no reason at all, and she was perfectly sure that the mirror hadn't had a long crack down it when she'd last glanced at it.

Carefully, she stood up, and made her way over to the mirror.

Yes. There it was – a long crack running down the mirror lengthwise, with other cracks branching out from it.

And that wasn't where it ended.

The cracks were spreading, growing across the mirror like a spider's web.

Ana knew the smart thing would be to back away. Mirrors didn't crack like that for no reason at all. The smart thing to do would move back, see if it continued, maybe head down the stairs and convince herself that it was just her imagination.

Instead, she moved forward, closer to the cracking mirror.

Hesitantly, slowly, she raised her hand and pressed her fingers to the glass.

* * *

It was like she was falling, spinning and whirling through darkness, blackness surrounding her, drawing her in – a roller-coaster ride with no carriage, no seatbelts, no track.

But somehow, she couldn't scream. Her arms flung around her, her hair flying about her, she was falling and falling and spinning and whirling and falling and there was nothing she could do and she thought she was dreaming and she didn't know what was going on or what was happening –

And then, quite abruptly, she was standing upright, sunlight pouring over her, the sound of birds somewhere in the distance, and she was blinking her eyes, trying to get used to the sudden light.

Finally blinking them open, she raised her head, pushing her hair back with her hand.

And then she blinked again.

She wasn't standing in her school anymore, that was for sure.

She highly doubted that her school would have what looked like a whole bloody _forest_ in the middle of the school compound.

"I'm dreaming," she murmured to herself, suddenly feeling weak, and she had to lean against a tree next to her to prop herself up. This was – this was _not right_. She'd been in school not a moment ago, and that stupid mirror had started cracking for no reason at all, and she'd idiotically went to mess around with it, and _where the hell was she and what was that darkness she'd just gone through_?

She shut her eyes, squeezed them shut tightly, and opened them again.

No change.

She was standing in the middle of a _fucking forest _(or woods, she didn't really know the difference and she didn't really care), propping herself up on a large tree, with sunlight streaming through and birds and the sound of animals in the distance, next to a wide, obviously often-used path.

Her heart started pounding erratically.

She dropped to her knees, wrapped her arms around her stomach.

She thought she might puke.

Something was very, _very _wrong.

Maybe she'd fallen down the stairwell in school, and had gotten a concussion or something and was hallucinating – she wasn't sure if that kind of thing actually happened, but it was the only logical reason that she could be here, wasn't it?

She was dreaming. She _had _to be dreaming.

But no – she could feel the grass under her knees, the roughness against her legs, and she could _smell_ the woods; she could feel the life practically radiating out all around her.

It was too real. Much too real.

No. Something was wrong, something was so very wrong –

Her heart pounded even faster.

This was _not _real, this could _not_ be real –

But she could feel it, could feel everything around her, and everything was so sharp and clear and full of life –

She took a deep, shuddering breath, and she wrapped her arms around herself tightly, and she curled up on the ground, slowing down her breathing, trying to calm herself down.

It didn't work.

She could feel panic rush over her, feel her heart race even more, feel herself gasping for air.

_What _was going on?

* * *

"Is that something on the ground?"

Kili squinted as his brother hurried his pony, trotting forwards to where a large tree was hanging over the path.

"Is what on the ground?" he called out, but Fili ignored him, slowing to a halt by the tree and clambering off his pony.

He saw Fili crouch down by what looked like a large object by the base of the tree, and he saw Fili raise his head, eyes wide: "It's a human girl!"

"What?" Kili hurried forwards, slid off his own pony to stand by his brother. Yes, there was no doubt about it – a human girl, curled up, shaking all over and her eyes firmly shut, some sort of strange glass contraption on her face. "But the last human town we passed by this way was at least two days ago!"

"Exactly." Fili looked grim. "Look at her – I don't think she's asleep."

"And she's definitely not awake." Kili leaned forward slightly. "What should we do?"

"Take her with us to the Shire," said Fili, without a moment's hesitation. "Gandalf will know what to do. We can't bring her back to the town, it'd take too long, and we don't know what she's doing out here alone."

Kili nodded, slightly, and bent down to pick her up. "You've more things on your pony – I'll carry her on mine."

Fili nodded and watched, anxiously, as his younger brother lifted up the girl gently.

Both their faces flamed when they realised what she was wearing.

It wasn't the strange footwear, or the shirt made out of the strange material that Kili had never seen, let alone felt, before.

She was wearing a skirt that barely came to her knees.

"D'you think – " Kili began, then fell silent, unsure of what it was exactly he wanted to say.

"Let's just bring her to Gandalf," said Fili, hurriedly. "It's not our fault what she's wearing. No matter what kind of a person she is, we have to help her."

Kili could already sense the disapproval rolling off his older brother.

He nodded, and with Fili's help, clambered back onto the pony with the strange girl.

He wondered how this strange girl had come to be in the middle of the woods in the strangest assortment of clothes with the strange contraption on her face, when the nearest human town was two days away and there was only the Shire ahead.

He wondered if she would be angry at them when she woke up, or grateful.

He wondered if she would give even more reason for Fili to disapprove of her.

He wondered how the other dwarfs' would respond to the sudden intrusion of a human girl.

But most of all, he wondered who she was.


End file.
